One of the hardest aspects of dealing with infertility is the sense that you are the only ones struggling to have children. Relating your infertility stories can be exactly what you need. ‘Twins on board’ stickers in the back window of the minivan, tricyclyes on the lawn – it’s easy to tell who has kids! It’s a great deal more difficult to tell the difference between a couple who are waiting a while before they start trying for kids and a couple who would desperately love to have a baby but just can’t seem to make it happen. Previously (as in before the internet) you could only find support groups where you could tell your infertility stories in big cities. Moreover, there was quite a stigma attached to being infertile. Now with the World Wide Web you can see how many other couples are going through a similar thing, and you can experience the benefit of a cyber support group, on top of a real-live group.

There are lots of sites where you could find infertility stories – and it seems as though there are stories about each and every different kind of infertility. Every circumstance is covered – repeated miscarriages, IVF and other similar treatments, donated eggs, sperm, or womb (or all three!), adoptions and multiple births are all covered. You’ll certainly find some stories quite similar to your story! My favorite one was about a woman who had early menopause but was able to have a baby because her identical twin donated an ovary! It’s the ideal match! The same DNA means the eggs are basically the same as what she had anyway, and it also means that her system wouldn’t reject the ovary! I know that it might mean a risk of earlier menopause for the donating twin, but if I remember correctly, she had finished having babies so she was glad to help! I get all emotional just thinking about it.

On the other hand, I’m not sure if reading or listening to a stack of infertility stories is that helpful. Almost all of them seem to end with the couple getting pregnant though, which might encourage you, but they could also just make you more depressed. I feel it’s best to strike a balance between real-life counseling and sharing infertility stories on the World Wide Web. If there are no infertility support groups in your neighborhood, why not create one? Other couples in the area could benefit from having a platform to share their infertility stories. You could already have heard of other couples who are battling, but maybe you could put up some posters at the local doctor’s rooms. You don’t have to be a trained counselor; all you need is an ear and a shoulder – an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, and maybe a teapot too.

It is really important to be able to tell your infertility stories, and to listen to the stories of other couples too. As I said before, maybe you should think of launching one yourself. Sharing your infertility stories and realizing that you aren’t alone may go a long way to helping you manange.

Here is more information on Infertility Stress. Here is a website with a free mini-course dedicated to Infertility.